The Power of Saying No….Can Liberate you when you are Job Hunting

 No, a tiny word with a BIG meaning. The dictionary defines “no” as “Used to express refusal, denial, or disagreement.” Children learn the word at a young age and express it many ways. Talk to friends who have children and ask how many different ways their child can say this word. Why do adults find saying “no” so difficult? As the president of a staffing and recruiting firm in New York, I always find it interesting when candidates who are looking for work can’t express this one simple word. 

The job market is changing; there are many more job opportunities in the market today than three months ago. Each month more and more companies are making job offers, and we hope this hiring increase will continue. That being said, why do potential candidates make appointments with my staff and never show up (or call to cancel)? Why do potential candidates agree to a certain salary and agree to being interviewed at a client company and then either not show up or email (because calling is just too personal these days), and when asked their reasoning, they say, “The salary was too low” or “I just was not interested in the position.” I get it, really I do, not every job and not every salary is for everyone, but whatever happened to common courtesy and just saying, “No thank you.” Learning how to say “no” is one of most important aspects of daily living. It offers dignity, balance, and empowerment. Having the capacity to say “no” with conviction is important for everyday survival. If we said “yes” to everything, would we be stretching ourselves too thin? If we said “yes” to most things, are we being fair to ourselves?

 I remember having a conversation with a cousin, and he said saying “no” is one of the hardest things a parent can say to their child. It would be so much easier to say “yes.” Saying “no” has consequences. Sometimes it will upset, disappoint, and/or even annoy other people. In the working world, saying “no” to the staffing manager a potential candidate is working with can result in the manager trying to convince the candidate to keep their options open to an opportunity or a salary. It could mean an open dialogue to discussion; it could mean having to express why something is not right for you.

 Isn’t talking things through and then coming to the realization that something is not in your best interest better than running away from it because you just couldn’t say ‘no”?

 Also, it is important to remember that saying “no” can sometimes be easier than facing your fears. Don’t let fear stop you from enjoying or experiencing something in life. On the same token, don’t let fear or lack of confidence stop you from going on an interview because it is for a job you have never done. This would be the wrong reason to say “no.” Learn to experience new challenges and opportunities, and base your decisions on rational thoughts, not fear.